I just came from visiting my son’s grave at the Summerland Cemetery. and I felt that I had been violated. My son’s resting spot for the last 10 years had been vandalized.
Special mementoes that not only myself but his sisters and friends have placed to be close to Mark, so that when we visit, these small mementoes remind us of special memories that we have of him.
These memories have been stolen, as if our memories are meaningless and insignificant.
I buried my son here so that I could visit and remember the 16 years that I had with him.
Our cemetery looks cold, unvisited, as if it has been scorched to the very depths of the ground where my son lies.
When I go out to see my son, I could tell if he has had visitors or not by what notes or tokens they would leave.
I get a great feeling of warmth when I know other people still think of my son.
All I can think of now is how some stranger callously picked at my son’s grave with no feelings and easily discarded my memories.
Any given day you can walk by this cemetery and see how many people come out and visit their loved ones.
You can see how we not only tend to our own spot, but if we see flowers blown around, plants toppled over, we reach out and tidy it up.
I did read about the request to remove items, and I did go out and remove a pole I had stuck in the grass which was where I would attach balloons.
But the rest of my memories were lovingly placed on the grave itself.
My husband did find a couple of items discarded across the road from the cemetery, but a few items are gone forever, including his soccer ball that he loved.
I feel so empty, so betrayed by my town, and most of all, I feel that my son’s existence has been purposely erased.
I feel for everyone that has experienced this violation and I only hope that the powers to be that made this decision, never have to take their surviving child to visit their brother or sister and be told that they can’t leave a note or picture that they drew.